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What You Absolutely
Must Know About the One You Are With!

1000 Questions

By best-selling author Michael Webb, who was featured on Oprah as a result
of this book.

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Serious Doubts
Why People Marry When They Know It Won’t Last

 

“She knew he was the wrong guy even before she married him. She knew it would end in divorce. And when I asked her why she went through with it, she said, ‘I ignored my inner voice.’ I immediately wondered how many other people had done that. How many women and men had ignored their inner voice and married the ‘wrong’ one? How many knew beforehand that their marriage would end in divorce? Rebecca could not possibly be the only one; there had to be others.”

According to a study by market research firm OnePoll.com, 15% of engaged couples planning to get married have misgivings about their upcoming nuptials. In another study, 3 out of every 10 divorced women admit they already knew their marriage was a mistake by the time they walked down the aisle.  Do people really get married when they have such strong doubts about marriage beforehand?

Yes. Every year thousands of people marry knowing with great certainty the marriage will not last. Why do they do it? We are privy to the answer to this crucial question with an enlightening new book, Serious Doubts: Why People Marry When They Know It Won’t Last, by Carl Weisman, MS.

According to Carl’s online survey of 1034 men and women who admitted they foresaw their divorce prior to marriage, more than half married because they thought their partner was the best they could do. And more than 3 out of 4 think it was a mistake to marry their partner and would not do so if given the chance to do it again.

His new book delves into these details and shares the intimate stories from nearly three dozen men and women.  There is no single, dominant reason why they go through with a marriage of serious doubts, but there are patterns and explanations that provide the reader with a greater understanding and appreciation of these compromised marital decisions.

Carl enlightens us on:

During the course of writing the book, Carl, now 50, got married for the first time, because, as he relates, “I had no serious doubts. I knew why I was marrying.”

He also sheds light on:

“The seeds of many divorces are sown long before the wedding,” emphasizes Carl. “People can make poor marital choices because they do not recognize all the forces acting upon them when they decide to marry. They think they are making an independent and unbiased decision, but that isn’t always the case. External pressures, disempowering beliefs and misguided motivations can all lead to a marriage destined for divorce.”

Carl addresses the many factors influencing these ill-advised marital decisions, which include parental pressure, loneliness, low self esteem, impulsiveness and financial gain.

He explores these many issues not defensively, but openly and objectively. He doesn’t approach the study of marriage from a scientific or sociological vantage point. He, instead, offers real stories from people who have gone through with a marriage of serious doubts. Rather than how-to-get-married advice and tips, their collective voice serves to help others both understand and appreciate their situation. “The speed and impetuousness with which people enter and terminate marriages today has rendered the institution of marriage far less meaningful,” proclaims Carl. “If the institution of marriage is to mean anything in the future, if the notion of ‘till death do us part’ is to carry any weight, then how we view and enter marriage must change.”

Carl is not critical of these people. He simply shares what these people are thinking and feeling—and in so doing provides us a greater understanding of where they’re coming from so others can learn from them.

About Carl Weisman: He has a Master of Science from the University of Southern California and a Master of Business Administration from Loyola Marymount University. His previous book, So Why Have You Never Been Married?: Ten Insights Into Why He Hasn’t Wed (New Horizon Press, 2008) is a thoroughly researched and detailed look into the dramatic societal changes of why men are delaying or avoiding marriage. He is also the author of The Essential Guide to RF and Wireless (Prentice Hall, 2000), currently in its second printing which has become an industry standard text. For more information, please consult: www.SeriousDoubtsAboutMarriage.com or Carl@SeriousDoubtsAboutMarriage.com.

Publication Data: Serious Doubts: Why People Marry When They Know It Won’t Last by Carl Weisman; BookSurge, October 2009; Trade Paper; $13.95; ISBN 13: 978-143925989-4